The 4th Trimester

Controversial post alert!

Please bear in mind all opinions are my own, but I thought this was worth sticking my neck out for, as I do meet a lot of mums to be.

It’s about pregnant ladies, and ladies who have just given birth.

Recently, I have got to thinking, and asking pregnant ladies, how much pressure they feel to let people come round and visit the new little one, and let everyone and their dog meet the new baby, when possibly all they want to do is hide away and actually figure out how to make it all work, especially first time mothers and fathers.

By the way this counts for parents who have just adopted too!  

My mission ( I have many ), is just to create a bit of awareness around how parents feel when they have just welcomed a new child into the family, it doesn’t matter how many children the couple have had, but I think new parents are at the front of my mind here.

When going to visit a friend of family member who has just welcomed a new baby into the world, why and when do you visit?  Of course its by arrangement, but do you rock up expecting a cup of tea, or do you go round and say:

‘I’ve got this, I’ll put the kettle on, and by the way I bought cake, and I’ve made a lasagne to stick in the fridge for your tea’

Music to new parents ears.

It recently came to my attention when chatting to a client about being new parent, that whilst it may be trendy to still be in your jammies by 2pm, and not showered, in any other situation, alarm bells would be ringing, and people would be worried.

It’s not different just because someone has had a baby.  My other concern is new parents not getting the chance to actually sit and eat a meal themselves, or have someone take over for an hour or so, just to let them shower.

Also, if you are a new parent, well done!  You’ll work out your own routine and figure out how to make it work for you, but one thing I will say, please don’t be shy about saying you need help, or just someone to take over for an hour or so to let you shower and dry your hair.  Also, it’s really important to get outside and get some fresh air. Learn how to be a Ninja and get out the door in 10 minutes with your baby, taking on the bare necessities.

I am not a parent, so this is all from my own perspective looking in, but I am a doting auntie and took my fair share of baby sitting and days out, and turning up at my sisters house with my cleaning basket and giving her a hand.  

My rucksack had nappies, wipes, snacks, suncream, and a spare cardigan for baby just incase.

My nieces are all grown up now and taller than me.  ‘Sake.

I hope this has given you a wee something to think about whether you are a new parent, or know someone who has just had a baby.  Don’t just assume everything is sunshine and roses. Not everyone is a coper.

Be the friend who asks.