This week I got to thinking about bad news. There's been a few smatterings of it around my world recently with good friends bearing up under the weight of it, and other stories of grief, or loss.
For me, the important thing is making sure you have all your pillars in place. These are the things that if one thing looses balance, the rest of the show can run smoothly and support the one that was gone a bit wobbly. A good example of this is Work and Relationships. For me anyway, these are the two areas that I hear the most conversation around when it comes to things not going to plan.
Here is a list of my pillars, this goes for men too:
Work - We spend the most time during the day here, cheeky wee desk detox if you are in that kind of environment? For me, I'm having a re think of what I wear when I'm working, it’s time for a revamp.
Relationships - Friends, family, everything, it’s like keeping a garden, you have to cultivate them, I think so anyway.
Health and Wellbeing - Are you doing the best that you can, sleeping well, keeping hydrated? Not with Malbec Shiraz you understand
Quality downtime - Reading, actually doing NOTHING and not feeling constantly task orientated. I find this difficult. It’s Sunday and here I am writing a blog post, but its because I WANT to. I have also been having a bit of a dance off round the flat listen to Christine and the Queens and a bit of Chaka Khan, I mean, what's not to like?
Home -the actual physical home, keeping things ship shape, tidy, and in a good state of repair? For me, its always having a clean kitchen and bathroom, and having my home as organised as it can be. I work with someone super duper organised, and his love of effective storage has rubbed off on me.
Wardrobe - more important than you think, its like having those dodgy pants that you don't wear but still keep, why? I'll happily bang on about this to anyone that will listen but I did only shop with a personal shopper these days. Sounds all fancy pants doesn't it BUT it costs nothing to do, and a lovely person called Annabel at House of Fraser in Glasgow has saved me a fortune as I don't mindlessly shop anymore, I swear she's a lifesaver, especially if, like me, you were having a really crisis of confidence. Sounds fickle, but having a wardrobe detox is always a good idea.
So how about the physical reactions to it? Everyone is different. Not sleeping, proper ugly crying (snot, everything, do it properly), weight loss due to loss of appetite, reaching for stuff thats not good for you whether that is food, too much coffee, or indeed, re living the bad news.
I think, for me, one of the most important things that you can possibly do as a person are to, concentrate on your pillars, and of course have thank handpicked group of friends who will give you 10 minutes to have a rant, get it off your chest, be very patient when you possibly repeat yourself, check up on you, take you out, and bring supplies of Percy Pigs.
Whatever situation you find yourself (if it's you) or another person go through, always take Percy Pigs with you.
Sorry! I'm trying to be lighthearted here!, but remember to reach out and talk, it’s so so important. Get outside as much as you can.
I think back to when I was made redundant, that was all kinds of challenging! It hit a HUGE rejection button that I have, but look what happened? I'm now doing the job I should be doing, but the news then was tough tough tough to take. Loads of sympathy from my friends and family but thank goodness I had that ONE person in my life who said:
"Fantastic news!!! We never liked you working for them anyway..."